Child feeling Ashamed
Many writers have written on topics such as Anger and Forgiveness as I have done in my book, An Awakening, Mapping Your Dream, Vol.1, but none have written on these two subjects from the vantage point of two very evolved non-physical beings. And then to add “Shame” into the mix, in my opinion is a gift. For me, the gift came in the form of learning how to process and heal these three blockages wholly and completely so that I could have the opportunity to live a happy life and sharing that information has been the reason for my book . Of course, there are no words that could ever express my gratitude to my two Unseen Friends, Lazaris and Galexis for the difference they have made in my life.
Most people know something about Anger and Forgiveness, but few know about Shame even though it is built into the system and is necessary on the planet at this time. No one gets to escape it. Shame is something you must deal with as part of your journey going Home and there is going to come a time on your journey when you know that you must deal with it if you want to heal and have a happy life.
Just the mere sound of the word is depressing and I think that when people hear the word “Shame,” even if they know nothing about it, subconsciously and unconsciously, they know it’s something they don’t want to confront. I will not lie to you. Shame is a heavy- duty thing.
In the Bible, it says that “The sins of the father will be passed on for seven generations.” The sin it was referring to is Shame. Shame is passed to each generation. That means we had Shame passed on to us by our parents, and they had Shame passed on to them by their parents, and it gets passed down for seven generations. It becomes part of the heritage that is passed on. It is not genetic or environmental. It is cultural. Shame can either facilitate the development of self or the destruction of self. The former was the original intent of Shame, but somewhere along the line it got screwed up, and “Negative Shame” has been culturally inbred in us.
This negative Shame has evolved into two kinds. The first kind is the Shame of Being. It is a belief that you are not divine by nature, that you are flawed, ugly, and have to earn the right to live. The second is the Shame of Doing, and has to do with whether or not your behavior pleases those around you so that you can get their love. Shame is insidious and destructive by nature. As children, Shame is passed on to us through many vehicles, such as teachers, authority figures, religion, and primarily by parents or guardians who take care of us. Moreover, Shame can only be healed by giving it back to the offender because as arbitrary as it may sound, one of the tenets of Shame is, “If you do not heal your Shame by giving it back to the offender, YOU WILL PASS IT ON.”
So, what’s it’s purpose? Why is it so necessary? What Shame is intended to do is produce a thing called remorse. Remorse is the ability to make a mistake, to admit it, to be embarrassed or ashamed of our actions or our behavior, or the impact we have had. In other words, it is the ability to know when you are wrong. Remorse allows you to make mistakes. It allows you to be human. That it’s all right for you to be less than perfect and it’s all right for others to be less than perfect. Remorse does a number of other things like allowing us to be forgiven when we have done something wrong for example, and Shame was intended to build remorse in people.
Well, what happens in the absence of remorse? People who don’t feel remorse are capable of committing heinous crimes without feeling any sorrow, or guilt, or culpability for their actions. For example, they will shoot you dead for your wallet for no reason at all, except for the fact that they wanted it. And a lot of times people who don’t feel remorse end up becoming psychopaths and sociopaths. When the seeds of remorse never get planted, this is the ultimate result.
Through my experience, I have found that when you become aware of what Shame is, there is a tendency to feel outraged at its purpose. What maniac would have concocted such a scheme? Lazaris says it was never meant to be this painful, but that somewhere along the way it went awry. However, if you can heal the anger, the pain, and the Shame, you can stop the cycle of passing it on and you can come to a place where you can understand the original intent and you can come to peace with it, which by the way is one of the steps in healing Shame.
suzannehosang 