In my last article, I described failure as something that society has taught us is bad and wrong and must be avoided at all costs. The way that this is done is through a system called Shame where you are taught not to love and value, appreciate, and honor yourself. Rather you are taught to judge yourself and others, and to see yourself as a flawed, unworthy, human being.
I explained that failure is nothing more than a signal to you that you have missed something in your creation. That somehow the direction that you are going needs to open up to some other possibilities or maybe even in a different direction.
I also spoke about the way we have learnt to handle the judgments that hold failure in place is to build a façade which is an image that you set up to convince other people that you are more than you are, or that you are not affected by the humiliations of life.
How can you turn failure into success? The way to get rid of shame and failure is to start with yourself and take all the judgments off of you because that’s what you are afraid of. You are afraid of other people judging you, and you are afraid of you judging yourself. The message of failure is that something is wrong with you. So when you have a setback, don’t get sucked into that message. You did nothing wrong and nobody else did anything wrong either. Take the judgments off.
You also have to give up the façade. As long as you think you have something to hide, that if somebody were to see it, they would not like you anymore, you are living in duplicity. You are living in duality. In a duality, you have opposites. You are going to have black and white, good and bad, failure and success. As long as you want people to see you in a way that you feel you are not but you have got to appear that way, then you are keeping failure and success as dynamics in place.
Anytime that you have a setback of any sort, it is message to say, “Hey, you’ve missed a piece.” Maybe also, that’s not a good way to go. Maybe, you need to try it some other way. It doesn’t mean that you are dumb and stupid. It means that you are in a creative process. Acknowledge that you are a reality creator who is smart and powerful and strong, who is in their art studio creating a piece of art. Do you know how sloppy that can get? It is complex. It is messy. It is juicy. It evolves. If you will take all the Shame and the judgments off, then you will create safety to allow yourself to make mistakes.
If you look at it from the point of view that you are not going to fail but that this is your playground where you are creating something that you want to do because you want to play with it so that you can learn about it and know about it, then you never have to go into that shame place about being a failure. You will never even be tempted to go there again.